Chapter16

The Importance of Communication
There is little question that men and women communicate and perceive communication differently. It is a bit of generalization, but both books would state that men tend to focus on goals and status, while women focus on relationships and connections. The link below has short summaries by Walter vom Saal on these books: > [|**Walter vom Saal's notes on these books**]
 * Gender Differences In Communication**
 * Gray, John (1992). //Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: a practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in relationships.// New York: HarperCollins.
 * Tannen, Deborah (1990). //You just don’t understand: women and men in conversation.// New York: Ballantine Books (paperback).

Netiquette
Netiquette, which is short for internet etiquette, is important to always keep in mind, as it is very easy for misunderstandings to take place in electronic communications. [|The Core Rules of Netiquette] are from a book entitled //[|Netiquette]// by Virginia Shea, and are focused more towards email conversations. The following video, produced by Nortel, also illustrates some of the common conventions of how to communicate electronically.

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**Email & You!**
Email has become a much more common means of communication, not only with colleagues, but also with students, parents and other school community members. It is important to be very thoughtful and careful with every email written in a professional setting. [|Email Tips For Teachers] [|One Teacher's Email Experience & Reflection]

**I Heard It Through The Grapevine**
Ah, the fabled grapevine, the informal network that exists in every organization. Because it is informal and tends to run outside the normal controls of communication, it is often bemoaned by leaders, yet for many subordinates can be viewed as an important source of information. Interestingly, studies have shown grapevine communication to be accurate as much as 75% of the time! The underlying issue is probably more one of managing the release of sensitive information and keeping rumors under control. As an example, one only has to watch the speculation about potential changes in college basketball head coaching positions once a major position comes open - it is interesting to see what rumors end up being true and false and how people spin their story with the media! One way to quell and curtail rumors is to ensure that official communications are clear, concise, and timely enough to satisfy the organization's need to know what is happening. [|Excerpts from Jitendra Mishra's Managing The Grapevine]

**Dealing With Conflict**
Poor communication can easily lead to conflict between parties, which can then lead to even less communication, thus starting a cycle that has to be broken. It is critical to remember that conflict itself is not necessarily a negative, so long as the conflict is resolved and the underlying issues addressed. Good communication can of course help prevent many conflicts from arising in the first place. Robin Reid's //Checklist For Managers// outlines twenty ways to communicate:


 * //20 Ways to Communicate With Your Employees//**

1. Include affected employees in goal setting. 2. Give frequent and meaningful recognition for a job well done. 3. Interact with employees on an informal basis. 4. Go to staff's work area. Meet them on their own turf. 5. Ask for staff's opinions and listen with an open mind. Try to understand their point of view. 6. Share non-confidential information with staff, and ask for their input and response on issues. 7. Offset demoralizing actions and events by emphasizing what went well, and use the experience as a learning opportunity. 8. Listen 80% of the time and talk 20%. 9. Ask staff what rumors they have heard, and address them. 10. Get into the "trenches" with staff. Look for opportunities to understand employees' jobs better. 11. Give information to staff after management meetings. 12. Ask staff. "Have I made our vision, mission, and goals clear and understandable? 13. Ask staff, "What can I do to help you with your job, and what am I doing that gets in your way?" 14. Ask staff "What is making our clients/customers the most and/or the least satisfied?" 15. Praise in public and give feedback in private. 16. Find something to like about each staff member with whom you work. 17. Actively make a point of speaking to all employees seen each day. 18. Build bridges with people with whom you are uncomfortable. 19. Set goals each month on ways to accomplish "Managing by Walking Around." 20. Occasionally have lunch with staff members. Use this as an opportunity to build trust.

[|Carter McNamara also has some good guidelines on the Basics of Conflict Management]